Street Savassana

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The patients at my clinic know I’m
leaving. There are a hundred stories to tell about that. I’ll
start with today’s.

After the “Oh, no!” and “I’ll
miss you,” people get marvelously practical.

“What are you going to do with that
mirror?”

“What about that painting of the
canoe?”

Yesterday I gave away all of the kids’
toys to a little girl whose smile wrapped right around her face when
she heard the offer. She has four siblings at home. As soon as I
put the toys in a bag, she made a dash for the door, as though I
might change my mind any second.

Another patient took my front desk
chair with her. She’s coming back on Friday for my coat rack.

Yet another friend carried one of my
portable tables back to his office. It’s a large table. I asked
if he was going to be all right walking three blocks. “If it gets
heavy,” he said, “I’ll stop and have a nap. Or just a
Savassana.” We laughed.

It made me wonder whether I could ever
declutter my life enough, my mind enough, to do Savassana on a
sidewalk, somewhere.

I love Savassana in class. I love it
at home. But wouldn’t it be glorious to feel open enough, safe
enough, at-one-with-everything enough to completely let go in
Savassana on the sidewalk outside your office?

There’s my fantasy for the day. Have
you done that? Would you? (Send pictures if you do!) Street
Savassana. We could start something, here.

Thanks to four-year-old Vanessa, thanks
to JoEllen, and thanks to Ben. Thanks to yoga for offering gifts
that wrap smiles around our faces. And thanks to you, always,
for the conversation,

kristin


Kristin
Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (About All Things
Wonderful) in North Bay, Ontario.  Join her on the
web,
on
Facebook,
and on
Twitter.

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Playing Make Believe

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When I was in first grade, my school
still did air raid drills. I’ll summarize for those who are
younger: This enormous, exhilarating horn blasted in the middle of
class, with no warning except for the shifty eyes of the nuns, who
must have been told ahead of time. We’d all leap up (“Quiet,
now! Quickly and quietly!”) and hide under our desks, as though one
of those rickety grade one desks might save you from an atomic bomb.

By grade two, somebody had figured out that rickety desk thing. We
now walked (“Quiet, now! Quickly and quietly!”) in single file
out to the school yard, as though this might give us a chance to run from falling bombs. We loved it. It
was recess with a bit of make believe.

Fun is the thing I remember,
particularly under the desk. I loved the game, and the curling into a
tiny ball, impervious to Attacks From Anywhere.

This is what I think of every time I do
a seated, cross-legged forward bend (Sukhasana variation), my favorite comfort position.
Last year I would have screamed in this pose–it takes a bit
of flexibility–but this year it is perfect. I feel safe,
compact, and gleeful, as though we’re all a part of some fabulous
grade one theater performance. My forehead rests on the floor in
front of me, cool and calm, with no nuns to call an end to the
happiness. I can play this game as long as I want.

Don’t you find that different poses
evoke different memories? I wonder if the happiness evoked changes
our physiology. I’ll bet it does.

Do you have any poses that take your imagination out for recess? I’d love to hear.

Thanks to yoga for being endlessly
interesting, and thanks to you for the conversation,

kristin

Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (About All Things Wonderful) in North Bay, Ontario.  Join her on the web, on Facebook, and on Twitter.

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Meditation Works

I’ve decided to celebrate the end of one career by spending some time at our cabin on an island in Lake Nipissing.  The point was to do enough yoga and meditation daily to slow my mind significantly, to sneak  a peek at peace, perhaps even to take a tangential nip off the edge of enlightenment.

So,  five days later the tally is five hours of yoga and approximately 15 hours of meditation.  (I’m with you if that sounds extreme.  Intensity was the goal.)

I’m back in town to charge computer batteries, get more water and food, and any Susannah Moodie books the library has in stock.

I saw no concrete results of my meditation until i drove into town on Lakeshore Road this morning (speed limit 60km/hr).  At some point i heard honking behind me.  In the rear view mirror were six cars in a lineup, two of them honking.  This alarmed me (where’s the fire? where are the flashing lights?), until i looked at my speedometer, which read 20 km/hr.  I pulled over to let the crazy speed demons pass.

It looks like meditation works.

I’m going back out to the cabin for another week, by which time i might be faster walking into town.

Do you meditate?  I’d love to hear.

Thanks, you crazy speed demons,

kristin

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Being There

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A woman came into my clinic this morning with some tough news about her health, the kind of tough news that’s hard to hear and harder to deal with. Frightening, life altering.
She told her story directly and honestly, and asked for my help. I asked what kind of help she’d like. “I want love, compassion, perspective, and advice,” she said, “and I want you to be less afraid than I am.”

Here’s where yoga comes in. Although I’ve had 20 years of practice in love, compassion, perspective, advice, and relative fearlessness, yoga has deepened all of it. The fact that I did my yoga practice for almost 90 minutes this morning, including an extra long Savasana, changes who I am as a person. These days I sit more quietly, listen more thoroughly, and am far less reactive. By becoming more aware of myself in the morning, I become more aware of the humans in front of me for the rest of the day.
Now, I’m lucky that this morning began with 90 minutes. It doesn’t happen every day. But the practice, five minutes some days and much longer other days, has been steady enough over the year that it pays off–big time–when it matters. When I began yoga classes a year ago, this changing of who I knew myself to be was not on my list of expectations.
There’s a tough time ahead for my friend. I’ll be glad to be here for her. To really be here.
I wonder if you’ve found the same thing.  I wonder if yoga is creating a huge community of people who can be here.
Thanks to yoga for changing the quality of time with people who need me. Thanks to my beautiful friend in the clinic, and thanks to you for the conversation.
kristin
Dr. Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (about All Things Wonderful) in North Bay, Ontario. Join her on the web, on facebook, and on twitter.
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Neverland Poses

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There is a class of asanas called Neverland Poses.  You may not have heard the name.  These are poses that are beyond the imagination.
Someone wrote in the other day, saying that she’d never ever felt anything relaxing in Double Pigeon, or Fire Log pose. The same is true for me. Although it’s true I no longer feel that anything will actually fracture while in Double Pigeon, the idea that my knees might fall comfortably toward the floor is beyond contemplation at this point. Until I looked for the pose on YouTube last week, I’d never seen anyone do it comfortably. It was as shocking as watching those videos of bridges collapsing during earthquakes.  Even an earthquake could not loosen my hips to that extent.

Double Pigeon is one of my Neverland poses. It doesn’t mean I’ll never do it (in fact, I intend to do it at some point). It means that my imagination can’t yet wrap itself around my deeply ingrained resistance.

Full Lotus is a Neverland pose. Dancer is one, too.  When I went home recently for Uncle David’s funeral, I dropped by The Yoga Station, just to make myself feel happy. Tamara, of the husband-and-wife teaching team Tamara and Tomasz, lived in Mysore for two years before opening the studio. I asked her to do her favorite pose for a photograph. (That’s her, above.) She whipped into Dancer as though it were more comfortable than brushing her teeth.
I acted casual. I couldn’t breathe. It was astounding. Some day I will do this, I thought. I may not look like Tamara. I may not become 6 feet tall or lose 40 pounds or grow long, yogini hair, but I will do my own version of this pose.

If you end up in Neverland with me, say hello.  I’ll be the one hanging out in Double Pigeon, just to pass the time.

Do you have a Neverland Pose?  Have you ever reached Neverland?  What I mean is, can you do any pose, now, that you could not imagine doing before? Inspire us, please.
Thanks to yoga for reality and for imagination.  And thanks to you, always, for the conversation,
kristin
Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (About All Things Wonderful) from North Bay, Ontario.  Join her on the web, on twitter, and on facebook.
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Magic Hour

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Today it was 3:33 am. Pat got up to get some water. By the time he got back to bed I was wide awake. “Don’t get up,” he said, a couple of times as he drifted off again.

I love this hour. While my coffee drips, I make a meditation cushion from a sweatshirt I left on the couch last night (our real meditation cushion, made by Pat a few years ago, is out at the cabin, waiting for the weekend). With my coffee beside me on the floor, I breathe, softening my head into a quiet place, happy to find that easier today than some mornings. After some perfect, unmeasured time, I begin my yoga practice. Today’s is slow and relaxed. Lots of hip openers. My own take on Yin yoga. By 5am, when our clock radio comes on, I could sink ships with my loose hips.

Some days it’s a bit later, some a bit earlier, but those early, early hours give me something I can’t find anytime else. The world is all mine then: dark, silent, obligation-free. My head is relaxed enough, this morning, that I don’t think of email or the theatre meeting I have after work tonight. I don’t think of the laundry I should have done last night.
All mine. This is the magic hour. The sanity hour. The hour that transforms the day. Pat does not find this hour magic, except for the fact that he and the dog can lie diagonally across the bed while I’m gone.
It makes me wonder whether you have a magic hour, and if you do, is it morning?  Noon? Night? Why do you love it?
Thanks to yoga for a quiet we can come home to, and thanks to you for the conversation,
Kristin
Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (About All Things Wonderful) in North Bay, Ontario. Join her on the web, on twitter, and on facebook.
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All Together, Now

P1000055 (1).JPGThere is something LOVELY about this huge yoga conversation going on through these blogs.  It’s as though I found yoga and am now finding my home team, my community.

And from you, the home team, come these bits of (sometimes crazy) wisdom:
Difficult poses can be playful. Playful?!?
The mind has no answers. The heart has no questions.
It’s possible to do headstands and handstands without a wall. (This was news to me. Still can’t do it, but I will.)
It’s possible, in Double Pigeon pose, to drop your knees below nipple level. (Also news to me.)
Hamstrings lengthen over time. (Many thanks to every single person who has mentioned this. May you have many flexible years ahead.)
Facial injuries (I hear mostly about noses) can be expected when you overdo Eagle, Tree, and Half Moon. You would be amazed at the number of you who have mentioned this.
Yoga changes lives. (I know this one, but I can’t get enough of your stories.)
We’re so lucky to be in this together. Makes me wish we could do a class together.
I can’t figure the logistics of that (Let’s meet in Baltimore at 7pm on Wednesdays? Tokyo for the winter solstice? I dunno.), but i do know a way we can be together.
I found a website on which we can OHM together. No joke! You can join the ohming and look at a map and see who is ohming with you. Holy high tech, Batman!
So, here’s the site: Do As One.

If you’re ohming there, and you see a wee point to the right of center and oh, just a short trip north of the American border in Canada, that’s me. Ohming with you.
Thanks to Yoga Journal for creating such a gorgeous community, and thanks to you for the conversation,
Kristin
Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (About All Things Wonderful) in North Bay, Ontario.  Join her on the web, on facebook, and on twitter.  Ohm.
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Saying Goodbye to Ed

A few posts ago, i mentioned my friend Ed, who is one of the georgeous people i’m saying goodbye to at the clinic.  Here he is, playing “You Are My Sunshine” one last time.

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( I love you, Ed.)

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Not On My Mat

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I mentioned during the summer that I’d be taking a Yin class this fall. I love the idea of sustained poses and a relaxed attitude toward form. I do Ashtanga yoga and pictured Yin as a lovely complement.
So I mentioned my plan to Pat, my lovely man, who has been doing Yin classes since last Christmas.
“Picture the togetherness,” I say.”Something we both love to do! It’ll be fun!” I repeat the fun bit, because his face does not shine with the excitement I’d imagined. “It’ll be fun,” I say, one last time. This is followed by a prolonged silence.

“What?” I ask.

“It’s nothing,” he says. “Except it’s my class. It’s my time. I like the fact that it’s my own thing. There’s another Yin class in the afternoon. Why don’t you try that one?”

In my young and foolish days (until I was 45, say), I would have been offended, hurt, and skillfully nasty in return. I can’t do that now because I get what he’s saying. Completely.
There are things I love to do with him, and things I want for myself. We love driving together, we don’t love cooking together. We love going to the theater together, I love being the only actor in the house.
If he wants that one Yin class on his own, that’s good with me. I’ll just watch his moves at home or make time on Thursday afternoons to get to the other class.
All of which makes me wonder: Do you love to be by yourself in your class or do you love to be surrounded by friends? How about your spouse? Would you love him or her to be there? Is yoga your solo thing or your social/romantic time?
Thanks to Pat for honesty and self-respect. Thanks to yoga for containing all kinds of choice and opportunity, and thank you for the conversation,
Kristin
Kristin Shepherd is a chiropractor, actor, and speaker (About All Things Wonderful) from North Bay, Ontario. Join her on the web, on Facebook, and on twitter.
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And When The Idea of Joy is Just Depressing?

On our cynical days, we say, oh please, you think joy is possible, or effective, or realistic? And i say, yes, it’s all three. But if it isn’t within reach today, if the idea of joy is depressing, try one of joy’s younger siblings, instead: Try hope for something a bit better tomorrow, try mild optimism, try ten seconds of peace. Try anything that gives you more energy right now. We’ll find our way back to joy that way. (Thanks to Esther.)

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